At first glance, it would seem that a Czech and an American
would have plenty in common when it comes to culture and society. Wrong! Think
about it for a minute. My Czech husband grew up under the communist regime,
while I grew up under capitalism. Not only that, we have the “East/West”
cultures to deal with, along with many other differences.
Now don’t get me
wrong—Jiri and I had plenty of things in common from the beginning, but we
didn’t really “get” many differences until two years after our marriage, when I
moved to be with him in the Czech Republic.
Our Language Differences
Over the years, we’ve regularly faced language issues. Our
relationship has been mostly conducted in English. One of the biggest problems
we faced after I moved here was with my use of American slang.
We’ve also developed our own form of “Czenglish”—not proper
Czech and not proper English—that we understand most of the time. However, when
I through in some American slang, and all bets are off.
Funny Arguments
Jiri and I would get into an argument and I would burst out
with some slang—nothing offensive and no bad words—just normal everyday slang
used back home. When that happened, Jiri immediately jumped to the conclusion
that I was using bad words and calling him bad names. Nothing could be further
from the truth! However, that feeling does add a different dimension to a
fight.
So, right in the middle of the fight, we’d have to back
track to the slang I had used. I had to explain what it meant, and that it
wasn’t offensive in any way. By the time the explanations were over, the fight
was forgotten (most of the time!) and we were laughing and making up again.
This was just one aspect in our cross-cultural marriage we had to deal with.
There have been many more over the years.
Proper Etiquette &
Other Issues
If you want to fit in to a new culture as an expat, then you'll need to try to dress and act like those in your new home country, along with learning proper manners, etc.
Jiri had a lot to teach me about proper Czech/European behavior,
etiquette and other issues. One of the hardest issues for me has been talking
too loudly in public spaces. Americans, we don’t know it, but we’re very loud
and boisterous in public, compared to many other parts of the world. Here, in
the Czech Republic, people are generally soft-spoken in public. You rarely hear
anyone raising their voice unless there’s an argument involved, football
(soccer) or alcohol. People here laugh and talk, but do it quietly in public
areas.
Well, me, I’m quiet by American standards, but Czechs knew
right away I was a foreigner--an American or a Brit (they couldn’t tell from my
accent)--because I talked and laughed louder than Czechs nearby. This type of
behavior’s not appreciated by Czechs. They will give you dirty looks. Someone
may make some comment in your hearing or tell you directly that you’re being
too loud and unruly.
I had a really hard time “toning it down” to a Czech level,
especially when happy to be with my husband. Nowadays I blend in
sound-level-wise, unless I’ve just come back from a visit back to the States.
Then I have to “flip the switch” to my proper Czech way of being and doing. J
Home Shoes (Pantofle)
Another issue is removing your shoes when entering your or
someone else’s home. This was really strange for me. You’re supposed to take
your shoes off to keep dirt and other yucky things from coming into the house
on your shoes. Czechs typically take their shoes off in the entryway of a house
or flat, then don “home shoes” (pantofle), which are slippers and clogs. You
can also choose to go stocking-footed, which is what I usually do.
Most homes keep a set of home shoes for visitors. You just
never know how many feet have already worn those slippers. So I usually just
stay in my socks, or sometimes even take my own home shoes. I have to say that
these days I’m a complete convert when it comes to taking off your shoes before
entering a home. It really does keep the dirt and other stuff out and keeps
your floors in better shape and cleaner.
One note—if you’re fortunate to be invited to a Czech friend’s
home, be sure to wear socks with no holes! Socks with holes will embarrass your
Czech friends and you’ll look like a slob who doesn’t care about your
appearance in their eyes. J
Wearing Lace in
Public
Lace was another issue—it wasn’t acceptable to wear lace in
public for a long time. In Prague, this rule has been relaxed over the last few
years. But in smaller cities and villages, don’t wear lace when out and about.
It’s seen as something provocative and attention-getting.
The first time I wore lace it was to a party at Jiri’s
office. I had on a nice shirt that had Battenburg lace on the collar and it was
cut out, just showing the collar bone. Nothing else was bare. Even so, that
lace drew a lot of attention and I was pretty embarrassed. I have never worn
lace in public again. J
As I’ve said, these days, especially in Prague, the dress
code as broadened to include lace. I don’t think many, except maybe some older
people, would find it any strange now.
Although, I have to say it's still awfully confusing on why it's OK to sunbathe naked in public spaces, but you couldn't wear lace. It boggles the mind.
Today’s Our 13th
Wedding Anniversary
On this day 13 years ago we became husband and wife. The
years have proven there’s still much to learn about one another. Each new life
experience we face together means having to find that common ground that
brought us together in the first place. We’ve managed to successfully bridge
the gap thus far and continue to work together to forge our love in this most
intimate of cross-cultural exchange called marriage.
That’s all for now! Have a great day!
God bless,
Sherry
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